To my friend
i know my silence frustrates you. i struggle to express myself out loud. The words get stuck in my throat and all is left is tears, and i feel so weak and helpless and just feeling sorry for myself, which is stupid and makes me feel worse. i know i need to deal with things, and not pretend i'm ok, but i'm tired of not being ok and pretending works a lot of the time. i hate feeling weak and broken and damaged. Sometimes i get too tired to pretend anymore and everything feels futile. The fact you care and continue to care when i'm not helping you understand, it means the world the me. Please don't stop caring, or trying to understand. You give me strength, you make me want to be better. i feel so grateful that you came into my life, that i know you. i worry about you too. Thank you for your friendship. xxx
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