m'Lady [Sept.09]

"Where are you now compared to where you want to be, on a scale of 1 to 10?"

"About 6..."

"Well, this tawse has been getting the most response from you, so I'm going to use that some more then..."

"ok..."

An unrelenting flurry later...

"Where are you now?"

"i think i'm about there actually"

"Good"

It had only been a short while before that the lovely Domme who had been sharing him with me had said she was leaving him in my 'capable' hands. I had smiled at the irony but accepted the compliment. This was fun! I hadn't expected to like it! But I did and I do!

Yes, this rose, usually in chains, became a Lady last night and went to Pedestal... To be honest, i went because i wanted to experience the 'goddess' atmosphere and get pampered a little... i really didn't think i would play. And neither did my friends. There were whisperings beforehand, some in conversation with me, some i heard about... Doubts that i had a Dommely bone in my body... i had the same doubts too, even though i am an assertive bitch sometimes at work (when i work).

i was feeling a little bit like death warmed up. i'm not well, probably just a cold, but it feels like it's man flu at least... But when i was beating that helpless lovely victim, i felt brilliant! No hint of unwellness. i don't know if it was endorphins or adrenalin, but it was a fantastic feeling!

In the past, i've never really understood the Dom/me perspective. i've been ever so grateful that there are people out there who don't mind beating me, because i love to be beaten. But i never thought i'd enjoy beating someone. i've taken no interest in learning how to use a flogger, and whilst i enjoy my whip cracking lessons, that's for the sound of it and the munch-like fun to be had with kinky mates. i will be paying more attention from now on. Afterwards, the man said to me, 'thank you, i needed that, it's been a hell of a week...' and i felt so pleased! Because i know that feeling so well, and i gave that to someone else! The enjoyment/endorphins/adrenalin during the beating plus the feeling of giving, of giving someone what they wanted, needed, enjoyed... No wonder Dom/mes keep doing what they do!

i don't know what this means for rose_in_chains.... i'm definitely a masochist first, a submissive to the right man or the man in the right moment second, and now maybe a masochist who likes beating other masochists third...? Lady_Rose may be making more appearances (and there are a couple of willing bottoms already in line! ) but i don't think she'll become a permanent fixture...

Still processing it all...

What a night! 

[turns out that flu-type feeling was swine flu.  Twas horrible]